I can’t believe you’re gone and it kills me to know that you will never see this. I’m so glad I had the chance to meet you in middle school. You were truly the best friend anyone could ever ask for. I always looked forward to seeing you everyday because you honestly helped me so much. I remember how we would always walk home together every Wednesday after school and we would make ramen noodles at my house because there was never anything better to have. I remember how you showed me that tree down by the wash that had a swing on it like from the movie Bridge to Terabithia and you would always joke with me that I was going to be the girl who fell off of it. I remember us riding our bikes together through the neighborhood and going to the park near our house. I loved how you would always say you were “fluffy” instead of “chubby” every time one of us poked you in the stomach. You always knew how to cheer me up when I was down, even if I didn’t want to listen to it. You knew how to make everyone laugh and you always had that beautiful smile of yours on your face. I loved our little group of friends that we had, even if I didn’t show it as much like I should have. I really wish we all would have stayed in touch. I can’t believe how much we all grew apart, even Rebekah and I. I’m so glad you and Toon stayed good friends. I would give anything to have our little group meet up again and go do something boring that seems absolutely fun to us. I would give anything to hear your laugh again and to see your smile. I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since 8th grade and that kills me inside. Now I’m going to think about this everyday and wish that I could’ve just seen you once more. I’ve been laying here crying just trying to write this. I’m so so sorry Jesse. I wish I could have been a better friend. I can’t stand to think about how we weren’t close anymore.

You never think about this. You never think that someone you knew could just disappear forever one day. I couldn’t believe that you were gone. I just couldn’t. After hearing about this Thursday morning, I couldn’t go on with the rest of my day. I couldn’t study at all for that midterm I had yesterday. How could I? I felt like the whole world just needed to stop. This isn’t fair. You shouldn’t have left so soon Jesse. You are loved so much by so many people and I’m sure you know that. You were a great and wonderful person and I’d give anything to have you back. I’ll always love you Jesse and I’ll see you again some day, okay? 

I wish I could pull off black nail polish like Anna Kendrick does in Pitch Perfect
but seriously I love that movie, everyone go see it.

seriously if I decide to stay here for college then my parents better let me study abroad because this is just some bullshit right now

On another note, I was already missing my dog and mom last night. I’m so attached to my dog Ernie that it’s really hard right now knowing that I won’t be able to see his cute little face everyday. I honestly couldn’t even imagine being in a different state for college, let alone a different city. 

I MISS MY ERNIE :( and it’s only been two days

Okay being in a dorm is weird. Or maybe it’s just weird because my roommate isn’t here yet.

ahhhhhhhhh I’m so scared and excited

You usually don’t need books your first week. Some of your teachers might tell you to not even bother buying the book for their class at all. Don’t worry about it :)

Don’t worry, everyone waits until the last second to do books. I haven’t yet, some classes say they’re required and the teacher says they aren’t!

Okay thanks guys! I sort of figured I wouldn’t need them the first week, but apparently we’re not allowed to order online off the bookstore after the 11th so they can have them ready for you in the store, so that’s why I was worried. I know it’s best to just use amazon or something but I can’t even find a few of my books off those sites :/ 

Just nine more days until I turn 18 and eleven until I move into the dorms. STOP just for one second please! I’m not even done with getting all my dorm crap and I feel like I’m the only one who hasn’t bothered to purchase a single book. 

I apologize in advance to anyone who actually visits my tumblr because I am constantly changing my theme all the time since I can never just stick with one. But I promise I will no longer do that anymore, hopefully. 

Here’s my pile I have going on so far and I’m pretty sure almost every girl and their mother is buying the same comforter set I got, but oh well, it’s pretty cute. This isn’t even half of the stuff I need and I’m certain my pile is really small compared to others right about now. I was just waiting to find out my roommate information so we could get things figured out, but we finally found out yesterday and I got my friend I requested! :D

Only 27 days left until I move in now. This is definitely starting to get a bit scary. 

Oh and ignore that blanket with the fish on it under the home goods bag. It’s just this little “bed” for my dog that he likes to use but its currently covered up.